Assertiveness - yog ... Lub hauv paus ntsiab lus ntawm tus kheej lub luag hauj lwm. General psychology

Nyob tos rau lub tswvyim ntawm cov neeg uas thaiv cov nyob ib tug tag nrho thiab cov yeeb yuj lub neej. Nws yog tsis zoo li hais tias ib tug neeg yuav xav li cas, yog tias outsiders yuav hais kuv sau rau nws yuav ua li cas, dab tsi txiav txim siab coj uas hnav dab tsi rau noj, yuav ua li cas mus nrhiav, thiab hais txog. Tab sis yog nws hais tias peb yuav pab tsis tau txhua txhua hnub ntawm subjecting txoj kev ywj pheej ntawm kev xaiv ntawm qhov kev nyab xeeb raug strangulated. Yuav ua li cas ib tug neeg yuav tsum muaj ib tug tag nrho-fledged dawb thiab tsis ua txhaum cov cai thiab kev ywj pheej ntawm lwm tus neeg?

Muaj yog lub tswvyim ntawm "assertiveness" nyob rau hauv psychology, nws yog heev kom meej piav qhov tseeb coj cwj pwm ntawm ib tug neeg laus, nws tus kheej-ntseeg tus neeg. Peb pib nrog lub fact tias assertiveness - ib cov style ntawm tus cwj pwm, ua cim zoo uas enables ib tug neeg tsis muaj aggression los mus tiv thaiv rau ib thaj tsam ntawm nws tus kheej thiab tiv thaiv lawv cov hom phiaj thiab kev txaus siab, thaum uas qhia siab tev taus thiab kev hwm rau tus nrog sib ntaus. Yuav ua li cas yog cov tsos mob thiab tus cwj pwm yus hais neeg?

tsis muaj aggression

Ua ntej ntawm tag nrho cov, ib tug neeg uas cov qualities ntawm cov ua cim, tsis qhia aggression.
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom nco ntsoov tias lub ce thiab xav - tej yam txawv. Muaj cov neeg uas yuav tswj lawv tus cwj pwm txawv zoo, yog li ntawd lawv yuav tsis pom externally. Tab sis tus neeg sab nraud qhia ntawm lub ntsej muag yog tsis tau hais tias tsis pub dhau lub neeg tsis muaj ib tug cua daj cua dub. Assertive neeg ob externally thiab hauv yuav xav tias relaxed.

Zoo Tsim Nyog xaav ntawm nws tus kheej thiab lwm leej lwm tus

Qhov no yam ntxwv kuj qhia hauv lub xub ntiag ntawm ib tug neeg assertiveness. Thaum kaj siab lug, uas tsis yog-txhoj puab heev neeg teb ntau yam provocations nyob rau ib feem ntawm lwm tus neeg, nws tsis muaj cai yuam kom ib tug tshaj plaws uas yuav tsum tau mus tus nrog sib ntaus, los yog siv tam sim ntawd tej luag hauj lwm rau ib tug unpleasant sib tham, thiab qhia rau nws txog nws. Nrog rau tej cwj pwm kev mus rau lub interlocutor, tus txiv neej nws tus kheej mus rau nws lub luag hauj lwm nyob rau hauv qhov kev sib tham kev txhawj xeeb txaus - nyob rau hauv txhua rooj plaub, tsis noj tag nrho lub luag hauj lwm rau lub unpleasant sij hawm, thiab tsis absolve nws tus kheej nws kiag li.

Qhov paub txog ntawm Kev Coj Ua

Nyob rau hauv no feature muaj xws li cov me nyuam los tu thiab paub txog ntawm uas tsis thiab tsis muaj teeb meem. Assertiveness - yog ib tug muaj tseeb kev soj ntsuam ntawm ib tug neeg ntawm nws ua. Ntawm no yog lub tseem ceeb tshaj plaws - to taub lub sij hawm siv thiab cov hauj lwm zoo ntawm lawv ua. Raws li, qhov hais neeg yuav tsis kam xeeb lub hom phiaj, txawm yog hais tias nws yuav lwj tus saib los ntawm lwm tus neeg.

Tej teeb meem los yog assertiveness?

Assertiveness nyob rau hauv psychology yog to taub raws li hauv lub qhaj ntawv ntawm ntxiv teeb meem. Koj muaj peev xwm tam sim ntawd hais tias qhov no tsis tshwm sim tshwj tsis yog tias muaj yog ib tug teeb meem, ces muaj yog tsis muaj kev tiv thaiv nws lub tswv yim. Tu siab, muaj coob tus neeg xav li ntawd - lawv siab nyiam thiab txoj cai yuav tsum tiv thaiv tsuas yog los ntawm teeb meem. Ces koj yuav tsum xa mus rau lub tswvyim ntawm "teeb meem". Qhov no ntse thiab lub siab lub ntsws muaj teeb meem, lub clash ntawm tawm tsam kev txaus siab, cov hom phiaj thiab cov kev xav. Nyob rau hauv lub ntsiab txhais no, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb los mus saib tias cov kev sib tsoo, uas yog hu ua ib tug teeb meem, yeej ib txwm lub siab lub ntsws, affective thiab mob. Cov peb cwj pwm kiag li contrary rau qhov yooj yim nta assertiveness - khiav ntawm tus cwj pwm, aggression thiab tsis muaj kev txaus kev ntsuam xyuas ntawm cov neeg koom nyob rau hauv kev sib txuas lus thiab zuag qhia tag nrho cov teeb meem no. Peb yuav hais tias qhov hais neeg uas koj nyob twj ywm raws li ntev raws li koj tsis muab kev koom tes nyob rau hauv qhov teeb meem. Lawm, lub saum toj no tus cwj pwm rau ib co yog muab nrog zoo nyuaj, yuav tsum muaj tam sim no tsis yog ib tug tus kheej lub luag hauj lwm, tab sis kuj cov upbringing ntawm ib tug me nyuam.

Assertiveness - lub sij hawm no muaj peev xwm hais tias, "tsis muaj"

Heev feem ntau peb yuav ntsib nrog tej lub sijhawm, thaum koj yuav tau qhia rau tus neeg "tsis muaj", tiam sis peb tsis tau ua rau ntau yam yog vim li cas, thiab ces lawv lawv tus kheej raug kev txom nyem los ntawm nws. Yog xav paub hwm lawv tus kheej, lawv qhov tseem ceeb, los mus tiv thaiv nws cov kev txaus siab, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom paub tias thaum twg muab rau dab tsi. Assertiveness - yog tus muaj peev xwm hais "tsis tau." Piv txwv li, qhov teeb meem no: koj sawv nyob rau hauv tag nrho cov tsheb loj uas muaj ib lub hnab nyob rau hauv ib tes, ib tug txhais tes tuav mus rau lub lag tuav. Cov neeg xyuas pib los ntawm ib kawg ntawm lub tsheb npav nug koj kom xa nyiaj mus txawv tebchaws coob uas xam nrog nyob rau hauv lwm yam kawg. Koj muaj txoj cai kom tsis txhob hloov cov nyiaj ua ntej, vim hais tias nws ob txhais tes yog tibneeg hu tauj coob thiab yuav poob, thiab tib ob, yuav tsis xav tau koj txhais tes qias neeg rau lwm tus neeg tau nyiaj ntawm lub lem. Yog hais tias nyob rau hauv no qhov teeb meem tsis kam tiv thaiv lawv kev txaus siab, koj yuav ua phem rau cov coob uas xam nrog thiab cov neeg xyuas pib, tab sis tseem muaj dua cov nyiaj, koj mam li yuav tau nyob nrog ib tug kev xav ntawm dissatisfaction, thiab cov ua txhaum cov kev txaus siab. Yuav ua li cas? Koj txiav txim siab!

Cov kev cai yuav ua li cas hais tias "tsis muaj"

1. Ua ntej ntawm tag nrho cov, koj yuav tsum tau cos. Yog hais tias koj pib piav yog vim li cas nyob rau hauv kom meej, nws yuav zoo li muaj kev zam txim.
2. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb qhia tias peb hwm mus rau tus neeg. Koj muaj peev xwm qhuas los yog txhawb tsis muaj shouldering lub nra ntawm lub luag hauj lwm rau tib neeg ua.
3. Tej zaum koj cia li xav tau hais tias "tsis tau." Peb yog feem ntau ntshai ntawm cov lo lus, xav hais tias nws tau poob haum nrog tus txiv neej. Tab sis ib tug khov "tsis muaj" yog zoo npaum li cas thiab dlaim phaj tshaj lub languid "Kuv tsis paub."
4. Koj muaj kev ncaj ncees. Koj muaj txoj cai rau tej kev txiav txim siab, vim hais tias koj yog nkim koj lub sij hawm. Tsis xav ua excuses.
5. Hardness. Yog hais tias koj tau txais kev txib interlocutor, thiab nws xav kom koj yaum nws cov tshuaj ntawm qhov teeb meem, koj yuav tau rov qab ua nrees "tsis muaj" ob peb zaug.
6. Qhaj ntawv ntawm kev txhaum. Tsis tas hais tias koj tsis xav los yog koj khuv xim koj tsis pom zoo. Yog hais tias koj tsis muaj peev xwm tsa ib tug pob, vim li cas thov zam txim rau nws? Thiab los ntawm vzvalennoy lub luag hauj lwm.
7. Saib xyuas ntawm koj tus kheej. Ua ntej ntawm tag nrho cov, koj yuav tsum xav txog nws puas siab puas ntsws thiab sab ntsuj plig kev mob. Yog hais tias koj hais "yes" - txhais tau hais tias zuaj lawv dee thiab kev txaus siab, nws yog tsim nyog los noj cov opposite txoj hauj lwm. Nws tsis yog ib tug chij. Tseeb, tej zaum kuj rau lub hom phiaj ntawm lawv hlub, peb txi ib yam dab tsi tseem ceeb rau lawv tus kheej. Ntawm no los txog rau lub fore cov nqe lus nug ntawm tseem ceeb, tus kheej lub luag hauj lwm.

Yuav ua li cas yog nws - neassertivny txiv neej?

Yuav kom muaj feem nyob rau hauv lawv tus cwj pwm lub hauv paus ntsiab ntawm tus kheej lub luag hauj lwm, peb yuav tsum to taub hais tias muaj lwm sab mus rau npib - neassertivnoe tus cwj pwm. Nws yuav piav raws li ntev li softness, tej zaum laziness, conformity - huab dependence rau lwm tus. Xav txog ib qhov teeb meem nyob rau hauv uas cov cwj pwm no yuav tshwm sim:

- ib tug txiv neej yuav siv sij hawm ib tug passive txoj hauj lwm nyob rau hauv ib tug sib tham nyob rau hauv ib pab pawg neeg ntawm cov neeg;

- nws tso cai rau koj los mus ua kom kev txiav txim siab rau nws;

- muaj ib tug mus tas abdication ntawm lub luag hauj lwm los ntawm lub seemingly zoo yog vim li cas;

- ntshai pib ib tug phooj ywg sib raug zoo vim hais tias lawv tsis xav kom siv dag zog;

- manifested tsis muaj self-esteem - tus neeg pom tau tias weaker thiab mob heev ntxiv dua lwm cov;

- tsis txhob cov xim ntawm lwm leej lwm tus;

- slowness nyob rau hauv tus cwj pwm raws li lub avoidance ntawm cov teeb meem thiab cov luag num;

- Thaj pom zoo nrog rau lwm yam, tsis noj mus ua nyiaj lawv tus kheej txoj kev xav thiab kev ntshaw;

- ntshai txaav lwm tus, thiab nws tus kheej-kev tsim txom.

Ib tug txiv neej nrog xws li tus cwj pwm nyob rau hauv kuv lub siab heev quaj los kuamuag vim, raws li nws xaiv feem ntau sib cov nyom puab dee. Nws lub neej pib lub thiaj li hu ua tsis zoo voj voog. Ua li cas nws txhais li cas? Neassertivny Thaum ib tug neeg tau txais los ntawm tseem ceeb tib neeg underestimate, nws yog pib los ntawm tsis pub dhau nws tus kheej "noj", quaj los kuamuag vim nrog xav phem cais tsis hais txog lawv cov peev xwm, tus cwj pwm, kawm tau zoo nyob rau hauv lub neej, txo lub luag hauj lwm rau lawv tus kheej. Vim li no, no mas, renounce nws tus kheej, nws pib nyob ib ob lub neej: nyob rau hauv ib tes, nws muaj tag nrho cov ntau tshaj yog tej kev xav thiab kev txaus siab, nyob rau hauv lwm cov tes, nws yuav tsis qhia lawv thiab tiv thaiv. Tag nrho cov no yuav ua tau kom zoo li ib txwm sib raug zoo nrog cov neeg, cov tsis muaj ib tug yeej muaj tseeb friendship. Assertiveness - yog ib qho zoo sis ntawm cov neeg uas tsis innuendo thiab conjecture.

Yuav ua li cas kom paub tias yog koj hais tus neeg?

Qhov teeb meem ntawm kev kawm tus kheej-kev tso siab mus cuag tau zoo, assertiveness seem deals nrog rau qhov kev kawm ntawm tus ntsuj plig - general psychology. Yuav kom txiav txim qhov zoo tshaj ntawm cov ua cim, koj yuav kis tau ib tug me ntsis kev kuaj rau assertiveness, nrog ib tug kws muaj txuj los yog mus soj ntsuam lawv tus cwj pwm nyob rau hauv lub neej txhua hnub. Los ntawm txoj kev, nyob rau hauv lub hlwb science ntawm soj xyuas los sis introspection (introspection) yog ntawm kuj zoo kawg tseem ceeb, txij li thaum lawv ua ib tug tseem ceeb npaum li cas ntawm cov ntaub ntawv hais txog cov kev soj ntsuam lub lag luam. Yog li ntawd, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom khiav ntawm, raws li koj hais "tsis muaj" zoo nkaus li yog tias koj muaj cov aggression mus rau lwm yam, yog tias koj pom tau tias nws nyuaj los mus tiv thaiv lawv txoj cai peacefully, tsis muaj kev tsis sib haum, thiab hais txog. Qhov zoo tshaj plaws txoj kev uas yuav pom kuv tus kheej los ntawm sab nraum yog lub tswv yim ntawm ib tug neeg hlub txog koj tus cwj pwm.

Yuav ua li cas muab peb lub hauv paus ntsiab lus ntawm lub luag hauj lwm rau lawv tus cwj pwm?

Rau tag nrho cov kev loj hlob ntawm tus neeg nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb yuav tsum tau hais tus neeg. Tom qab tag nrho, qhov tseeb hais tias peb muaj lub xam qhovkev xwm los yog Vajtswv, lawv niam lawv txiv, peb ua raws li rau ib tug lub neej, tsis tau raws li kev vam meej thiab paub tau hais tias yeej tsis muaj kev txhaum los yog tsim los ntawm cov uas tsis muaj self-esteem. Ua raws li cov ntsiab cai ntawm assertive tus cwj pwm, peb yuav ua tau lub hom phiaj, mus txog heights thiab muaj zoo lus sib raug zoo.